My uncle…

…let’s just say my Uncle Koroush is that stereotypical, Middle Eastern uncle that can get you anything.


I had to help clean and organize his garage the other day. Let’s review some of the things that were said and seen throughout that faithful day:


14 Franzus Personal Security Siren and Flashlight packages


87 Boxes of Keychains With 11 boxes within each
After packing, he said “Thank God for China.”


He has an inflatable robot that apparently brings beer to you. It’s remote controlled. Please see photo above.


Uncle: “Do you know what that is?”
Me: “No, what is it?
Uncle: “It’s a step for behind a pickup truck.”
Me: “Just….give me a minute….I have to sit down….”


HE HAS A PAIR OF NUNCHUCKS




Bonus (from a previous encounter)

Uncle: “You want a car? I can show you a TDI for $6500. It just has a bad engine.”
Me: “Then no, I don’t want it.”
Uncle: “Why?”
Me: “Because it has a bad engine.”
Uncle: “Well, I have an engine.”
Me: “How do you have an engine?”
Uncle: “Because I have a friend who owns a junkyard and he owes me money.”


Uncle: “For every $8 you put in your Toyota, you’ll have to put $5 in a Jetta. Do you know how much savings that is?
Me: “$3?
Uncle: “Fifty cents.”


Me: “Why do you have that many bottles of rubbing alcohol?”
Uncle: “Because they were cheap.”
Me: “I bet. But why? Who needs that many bottles of rubbing alcohol?!”
Uncle: “They were ten cents a bottle.”
Me: “I don’t care how cheap they were; whhhhhyyyyyyyy?!”


I wish I was making this stuff up.