It’s been a while, I know. I’ve been really busy and this has been the lowest priority on my list of things to do.

So, I had to call Bank of America the other day to handle an overdraft fee. This is how the conversation went:

Me: Can you waive this overdraft fee?
BoA: Possibly.
Me: Would you like to hear my story?
BoA: Uhhh…sure?
Me: Are you religious?
BoA: Well…I mean…not really, but kind of.
Me: Okay. Well, I found God in the last three weeks. I mean, it’s the only explanation. You see, I have been constantly shit on in the last 3 weeks and I don’t work for middle management. I haven’t been paid in a month and my boss isn’t giving me back pay. I’ll have money in the next few days, I swear.
BoA: Okay. We’ll waive your fee this time. You have 5 days to get the money in your account to avoid the fee.
Me: Awesome. You’re awesome.
BoA: Is there anything else that I can do for you, Mr. Petrosky?
Me: Please, don’t call me “Mr. Petrosky”.
BoA: Should I call you…Alexander?
Me: You can call me Alex. I tell some people to call me “Captain”, and, for some reason, they listen to me.
BoA: Okay, well, is there anything else that I can do for you, Captain?
Me: No, you have done plenty, thank you.
BoA: Okay, well, you have a wonderful day, Captain. chuckle
Me: Oh, you, too.


I then called AT&T about 3 hours later to activate my little brother’s phone.

AT&T: Is there anything else that I can do for you, sir?
Me: Please, don’t call me “sir”. Call me, “Captain”.
AT&T: Is there anything that I can do for you, Captain?
Me: No, that’s all. Thanks.


Oh, yeah. Shitty day turned into a great day.It’s how I’m going to roll from now on.