This Is Why I Smoke
Picture Courtesy of Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal. This is why I smoke: Biology Okay, so my last post sucked. I realize that. It was more or less just to push something out. So here’s the deal with my Tumblr from now on: I update every Thursday. Unless something pisses me off to the point where I go, “I need to blog about this!”, I will only update Thursdays. Now, to feed off of the idea of my last post, I am writing about Biology. I’m almost done with my Biology degree, so I feel this is only right. Biology has ruined my life. It has caused so much stress, that it has caused me to start smoking. The biggest problem with this? Because I am a biology major, I know exactly how cigarettes work. Also, it’s a conversation killer. Here are some examples: At a party hitting on some girl Art Major: “I like how the color of your eyes match the outfit you are wearing. You remind me of a Monet painting.” Girl: swoon Biology Major: “I like how your eyes are autosomal recessive for the blue gene. You remind me that I have a Genetics exam to study for.” Girl: already making out with Art Major At a family dinner Political Science Major: “Did you hear about North Korea bombing South Korea? I just don’t think North Korea should start something of this magnitude with Kim Jung-il’s health so unstable.” Family: glad $20k/year is educating their child Biology Major: “So that’s when the food moves into the intestines. Nutrients are absorbed by the microvilli, which are finger-like projections that are designed to increase surface area.” Family: regrets spending $20k/year educating their child Walking in a park Random Person (thinking to self): “I wonder what I’ll have for dinner.” Biology Major (thinking to self): “Neuron fires action potential, travels to muscle, muscle moves.” After watching Terminator: Salvation Non-Biology Major Friends: “Man, it was noble that the cyborg guy donated his heart at the end. He finally regained his humanity.” Biology Major: “THEY CAN’T DO OPEN HEART SURGERY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DESERT WHEN THEY’RE AT WAR WITH FUCKING ROBOTS. DO THEY KNOW NOTHING ABOUT STERILE INSTRUMENTS?!” You get the point. So, to sum up my past 5 years of college: Biology has taken the magic out of life.

Picture Courtesy of Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal.

This is why I smoke: Biology

Okay, so my last post sucked. I realize that. It was more or less just to push something out. So here’s the deal with my Tumblr from now on: I update every Thursday. Unless something pisses me off to the point where I go, “I need to blog about this!”, I will only update Thursdays.

Now, to feed off of the idea of my last post, I am writing about Biology. I’m almost done with my Biology degree, so I feel this is only right. Biology has ruined my life. It has caused so much stress, that it has caused me to start smoking. The biggest problem with this? Because I am a biology major, I know exactly how cigarettes work.

Also, it’s a conversation killer. Here are some examples:

At a party hitting on some girl
Art Major: “I like how the color of your eyes match the outfit you are wearing. You remind me of a Monet painting.”
Girl: swoon

Biology Major: “I like how your eyes are autosomal recessive for the blue gene. You remind me that I have a Genetics exam to study for.”
Girl: already making out with Art Major


At a family dinner
Political Science Major: “Did you hear about North Korea bombing South Korea? I just don’t think North Korea should start something of this magnitude with Kim Jung-il’s health so unstable.”
Family: glad $20k/year is educating their child

Biology Major: “So that’s when the food moves into the intestines. Nutrients are absorbed by the microvilli, which are finger-like projections that are designed to increase surface area.”
Family: regrets spending $20k/year educating their child


Walking in a park
Random Person (thinking to self): “I wonder what I’ll have for dinner.”

Biology Major (thinking to self): “Neuron fires action potential, travels to muscle, muscle moves.”


After watching Terminator: Salvation
Non-Biology Major Friends: “Man, it was noble that the cyborg guy donated his heart at the end. He finally regained his humanity.”

Biology Major: “THEY CAN’T DO OPEN HEART SURGERY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DESERT WHEN THEY’RE AT WAR WITH FUCKING ROBOTS. DO THEY KNOW NOTHING ABOUT STERILE INSTRUMENTS?!”


You get the point. So, to sum up my past 5 years of college: Biology has taken the magic out of life.

Posted 1 year ago